My feet hurt. My feet have always hurt, they have never been very cooperative feet, but lately they hurt all day, every day and worse. No matter what shoes I wear, (Or don't wear) or whatever else, my feet hurt all the time and it makes the simplest things in the day a chore. But I am trying to look at the occurrences in my life differently, rather than circumstances to fuss against, or as a punishment from God for one thing or another, I'm trying to see them as something that comes directly from Him and I'm trying to ask and understand from Him what I am to do with it all. And I pray and I think and I look around and all I can come up with is that I am done with housework. Is that a horrible thing to say? I've done it for 20 years now, I've got big kids all around me and I just can't keep up with it anymore. Even putting all the laundry away seems like this big mountain and it is simply because every step I take... HURTS.
I don't know what else to do. I have always been a walker and I've never minded caring for the family. Housework has never been something I would complain about, I don't mind cleaning the kitchen or sweeping. Rand has always tried to get me to give more over to the kids and I have just had a hard time doing it. I just like feeling like this is my house, you know? But I just can't deny it, Shayleen is going to have to take over and get the others working and I am just not going to be the one that can be the main player... Argh.
So what am I going to do? Well, schoolwork, obviously. That is a good portion of the day. But also, I think I am going to draw. I don't have any real talent, I can't organize, I can't garden, I can't do anything really very useful. It seems like the only natural skill God had placed in me is to be able to draw pretty pictures. Not very useful, but I guess that's what I will do. Read the Hobbit to my boys (and drag them through their math) and draw pretty pictures. Hows that for retirement plans?