Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Another thing I don't like is I think it can tempt the boys to be a little sneaky. Maybe not all of them. But if a boy knows that if he doesn't have all his career ducks in a row and if he knows he cannot flinch toward a girl and reveal his feelings he is going to become very skilled at guarding his facial expressions. Is this the best virtue we want in the boys who come for our daughters? The ones that are best at hiding their feelings? I'm all for self control and all, but... really?

Because what do you do if the boy does flinch? Do you ax him? Tisk, tisk, she's on to you, I guess you're out. What if he feels like he has competition and she could be making decisions and he feels like information he could give her would pertain to that decision. What if she WOULD want to know. Is he supposed to just passively sit by? Is THAT what we want in son-in-laws? The ones who were so dis attached? Really?

Save me from the boy who comes into my house to observe and see if my daughter measures up. I have no interest in that boy. Save us the compliment.

I like a little life in a boy's eyes. I find forthrightness refreshing.

If we weed out the boys according to their ability to stuff their feelings then it seems by default we are placing stoicism at the top of the list of qualities we are looking for.


  1. Why should a guy who can't get ready financially because of school lose his chance to be with the girl he loves? Plus, like you said in this post, it could come from a desire not to be sneaky, I'd much rather be forthright than to sit and act like there's nothing there.

    It would help to be at least a bit ready financially though. Speaking up without having money could be looked on as being a bit selfish, asking for something that you really don't deserve and that you can't quite care for yet.

  2. Yes it would be best. But we're talking about friendship rights here, not actual marriage. Nobody is thinking it would be OK to get married without actually being ready. I'm talking about being able to visit and stuff. :)