We got internet back-yayayay! It's slower, but it's something, anyway. Anyway, it's just in time but it's good timing because I have some things rattling in my brain and I hope I can at least smooth them out here....
Courtship, courtship is what's on my mind. Courtship models, friendships, all that stuff.
The courtship model I know best I guess is where the guy works really hard to get himself ready career wise. He doesn't really look around or anything until he is ready to start a household. Maybe he has a few likely candidates in mind but he doesn't do anything until he can make marriage a priority.
But say there are two people who go to church together. Say they are good friends-they have mutual friends, they go to some of the same social events, play in Christmas plays, sing in the choir, stuff like that. And they become friends over a course of time. After a while it gets pretty apparent that they "click". They are 18, but he isn't ready to get married and they both know that, but they do enjoy being around each other and everyone knows it, and they both know it. So for the time being, they visit at church, social events in connection to church, and other things like that with groups of friends, while he works and goes to school and she does her stuff. Both of them have the trust of their parents, they are both honest, good Christian kids who want to do right of their own accord and not just because their parents are holding a sledge hammer over them. They both hold the same doctrine and basic similar outlooks on things.
I feel ridiculous almost for having to ask this but is this such a big deal? If a girl has friends that have sisters who have been married at her own age-making lifetime commitments, and with the help of God have been entrusted with the creation of an immortal soul-that is were pregnant with their first baby, should she not at 18 be able to decide that she is interested in considering this young man when he has his financial ducks in a row and in the meantime wants to visit with him at church and choir and share music and talk about stuff? I'm not talking about holding hands, let alone kissing. I'm not talking about making big commitments or going off in cars alone together, or being alone in a room together even. I'm not talking about being on the phone with each other for hours or talking romantically. I mean that when they are going to be at the same place at the same time they look forward to it, and they seek out each other when they get there and they are usually in the same group of friends together. They enjoy each other's company and their faces show it when they talk.
Sometimes in our desire to protect against sexual sin we get a little myopic.
Where do we want our kids to meet other kids? How do we think they will get to know each other? Is everything so alarming that every stinkin' little thing needs to pulled out to the extreme like some big taffy pull? Do we want our kids to feel like everything they do is going to be so analyzed and picked over that they are afraid to be friends with the opposite sex at church? How do people get to know each other?
And if the kids are talking with their parent's permission, is it anyone else's business?